Tonight I am feeling pretty bad because I said some things that I did not mean to say.  I just get so frustrated.  I just want all of this pain to go away. I am ready for things to be easier.  I am tired of waking up feeling empty and alone.

God is working in my life, I know that.  I believe with all of my heart that HE is not finished with me yet and HE isn't going to stop working in me, until the job is complete.  I am struggling though. A lot these days.  I am having trouble seeing things get better. I know that every day, I am stronger for going through this, but days like today, just makes me question everything. 

Where is my faith?  Why don't I trust more?  Am I ever going to understand this?  So many questions that go through my head in a day. I just wish I could turn off my brain sometimes. I think WAY to much and then it gets me sad. 

I don't want to worry about this anymore. What is worrying going to do?  I can't change anything. What is done is done.  I can't change the past and I have no clue what is going to happen in the future. All I have is today. Right now.  How am I going to use my second, my minute, my hour, my day?  I should not waste it worrying.... 

God does have everything under control and I want to believe that with my WHOLE heart. Not just some of it.